hopeki chen
Wellington Square, Hastings
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The Park

Seagulls do their dance around the park, the squirrels stare without remark.
The morning rush is about to start, dogs get whizzed around quickly, before the owners depart.
People rushing to work not looking around, their eyes on their phones, or heads to the ground.
Everyone too busy to think of others, it'll be the kids next, and then tots and mothers.
They're all concentrating on the coming day,
too busy to notice the man on the bench, who's passed away.

He was only a vagrant so no big deal in the modern age, where people are conditioned not to engage.
The scene is cleared without much hesitation, no one to question in the investigation.
Life goes on for everyone else in the park, another vagrant takes to the bench after dark.
It'll be be winter soon and the temperature has started to drop,
the vagrant has moved to the door of a shop.
The seagulls still dance, the squirrels still stare.
The people passing through, still don't care.


Now as I sit on the street alone again, trying to avoid the cold and the dreaded rain,
I start to wonder where it all went wrong, I used to be smart, I used to be strong.
Having it all has never been my goal, but neither was being homeless and on the dole.
Life can go wrong in the blink of an eye, I always knew that, but I'm still asking why?
Is it something I can put down to fate, or can I change it, before it's too late.
I know to get through it, I have to be strong, so I have to stop focusing on where it went wrong.
Of course I should learn from my mistakes, but I need to focus on getting better,
and doing all that it takes.

First is make sure I start looking after myself, not just my physical, but my mental health.
Start making notes of what is important to me, to guide me to a place where I want to be.
I don't want much, just to be in a better place, and feel like I'm a part of the human race.
To be able to function and give something back, is a definitive sign that I'm back on track.
The hardest part will be to get off the streets, so remember the wins, forget the defeats.
There'll be many obstacles to get me depressed, I need to stay focussed, and not get stressed.
This all sounds simple, perhaps I'm being naive, but the thing that matters most, is I've got to believe.